Saturday, January 12, 2013

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Crazy Hooker Maria?



Apparently, according to Elizabeth Wurtzel, the answer is to place a hysterical phone call to David Boies.  Problem solved. Don’t try this at home kids; one of America’s top litigators isn’t likely to take your call. 

Of course, this woman who played the “powerful man will rescue me” card included this passage in the same essay:

“I believe women who are supported by men are prostitutes, that is that, and I am heartbroken to live through a time where Wall Street money means these women are not treated with due disdain.”


Oh, and then there’s this gem:

“For a while after my first book came out, I went home with a different man every night and did heroin every day—which showed my good sense, because the rest of the time I was completely out of control.”


And so stay at home moms are prostitutes to be treated with disdain? Apparently, Crazy Hooker Maria isn’t the only, or perhaps even the primary, Crazy Hooker in this story.

Certainly, there’s more room for extensive mockage of Ms. Wurtzel. And it would certainly be justified. She’s not unintelligent, can write a bit (though if her only genre is ‘poor little me’, that vein is probably tapped out), and is connected enough to land a good job with Boies’ firm, but chooses to harness the forces of nuclear energy in pimping false humility. 

Reflect a bit about this passage and the one above about after her book launched:

“I have no husband, no children, no real estate, no stocks, no bonds, no investments, no 401(k), no CDs, no IRAs, no emergency fund—I don’t even have a savings account. It’s not that I have not planned for the future; I have not planned for the present.”


Ms. Wurtzel will always be poor. Sure, she has the capacity to generate a high income. But she will always be poor. Because poverty isn’t about cash flow, it’s about having a planning horizon that lasts longer than an ADHD 7tth  grader confronted with a box of twinkies, an Xbox, and searching YouTube for wardrobe malfunctions. There are lots of financially broke people who aren’t poor, because they can set goals and work to attain them. 

Her “I live specifically, with intent” protest aside, her essay suggests that she simply follows the path of least resistance for whatever situation she is in. Ms. Wurtzel is simply following the siren song of “If it feels good, do it”. Or more unfortunately, “to thine own self be true”.

If you have a lousy, undisciplined self, this is probably not the motto to follow.