Saturday, May 29, 2010

Mixed Nuts: Bruce Patterson*


The esteemed Mr. Patterson, a Michigan state senator (R-7 MI), is on his way to the Mixed Nuts Hall of Fame. Not for nothing does this dude sport a Snidely Whiplash mustache (though to be fair to Snidely, Mr. Patterson doesn't exactly sport Snidely's trim physique). It seems State Sen. Patterson is deeply troubled by the fact that there are people reporting on Michigan state politics who he hasn't heard of. Worse yet, they work for publications he hasn't heard of! The Horror!


Solution? Why, a State of Michigan “ Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval” for journalists!!! That way, the people will know who has the official approval of Michigan's government for their dose of propaganda! Double Plus Un-Good!**


This probably goes beyond the scope of the Mixed Nuts grab bag. Most of our honorees are simply stupid folk doing stupid things, usually with minimal threat to the body politic. Mr. Patterson's buffoonery, however, is something more than a zit on the buttock of the body politic, he's actively advocating the introduction of carcinoma.


And what might be the esteemed Mr. Patterson's requirements for his seal of approval? Here's the list:

According to the bill, reporters must provide the licensing board proof of:

--"Good moral character” and demonstrate they have industry “ethics standards acceptable to the board.”

--Possession of a degree in journalism or other degree substantially equivalent.

--Not less than 3 years experience as a reporter or any other relevant background information.

--Awards or recognition related to being a reporter.

--Three or more writing samples.

Reporters will also have to pay an application and registration fee.”

Let's translate:

Good Moral Character”: Never criticize the licensing board, or Michigan government in general.

Degree in Journalism”: Reliably liberal, but with no real knowledge of any particular subject matter relevant to government.

Not less than 3 years experience in something or other”: see “good moral character”.

Awards or recognition”: be really, really, reliably liberal, never criticize Michigan's government, and remain steadfastly ignorant and incurious about the affairs of state.

Three or more writing samples”: Be able to cut and paste official part press releases into “news” articles.

I think that that about sums up this petty fascist's proposal, don't you? After all, if Mr. Patterson gets his way, pieces like this will get the thumbs down from Michigan's new state censorship board. Of course, his operative assumption is that people who think like he does will always be in control of the “ licensing” board. One wonders what happens when they are not? What happens when control of the board passes to the ACORN / SEIU? The Truthers? The Birthers? The Tea Party? Insert your favorite boogey man here...

Thats's why a free country steers away from government endorsement of “approved” media.

* Just to be fair, having played “Name That Party” on other MSM posts, one should note that the Fox piece doesn't point out that bozo here is a Republican.

** To make this clear to the meanest intelligence, and I allude to Mr. Patterson's, this is a reference to Orwell's classic, 1984. Perhaps he should read it sometime. Assuming he can.