Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Tiger Tiger Burning Bright

One hesitates to comment on the whole Tiger Woods fiasco; after all, even satire has a lower limit. One that Tiger has easily eclipsed, with the floozie index headed well into double digits, cash losses, a likely divorce, and now one of his doctors headed to le Hotel Greybar.

No doubt more revelations to come; I doubt that even Tiger has enough hush money to prevent these women from selling their stories. Perhaps we'll be treated to a made for TV movie. All the principle parts are in place:

  1. Rich celebrity philandering husband;

  2. Beautiful wronged wife;

  3. A harem that seems largely drawn from a 'Cops' episode shot in America's trailer parks;

  4. A shady doctor;

  5. A potential flight to Sweden for Mom & kids.

The mob hasn't made an appearance yet, but as the bimbo list continues to expand, it's only a matter of time.

About the only thing that could further impair what's left of his reputation would be to become a deadbeat dad. Which, if present trends continue, is starting to sound far less fetched than it should.

I wonder how many male sports stars are now having to face unpleasant and embarrassing requests from their wives for cell phone logs, expense accounting, etc.?

“ But honey, we're just friends, honest... just because she works in the adult entertainment industry doesn't mean that there's anything going on... well, there was that one time. Well, and another with her cousin... Ok, maybe the sponsorship and personal appearances at the Vegas Strippers & Lap Dancer's Booty Shake Off looks bad... but the St Bernard wasn't my idea, honest!”