Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Former French President Chirac hospitalized after mauling by his clinically depressed poodle.

That's a headline for you. One wonders if the dog became clinically depressed upon realization that it's a poodle, or that it was owned by Chirac?

Turns out that it wasn't even a standard Poodle, it was a Maltese. Essentially, the former President of France was mauled by a dog weighing all of 10 lbs.

In our neck of the woods, that's known as a Kickabout.

And how do you determine that a dog is “clinically depressed”? Or is this just a vet's euphemism for “rich, gullible owner”?

I can hear the session with the dog and pet psychiatrist now:

So, Sumo, tell me, vhat hav you been doing lately, ya?”

Gee, doc, I just don't have the energy to even bark at the mailman anymore, My life is just a dreary round of naps, rotten food, and being forced to ride around with that moron Chirac. I swear, if he calls me 'bitsy-bookums' one more time, I'm gonna snap out. I mean really snap out. Then we'll see who's the master. You'll see. They're all gonna see....”

(Thanks to James Taranto's Best of the Web)