Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Chicago: At War with Ziploc

More Drug War gone Awry. Fine, $1500. Caught with a twist-tie? That’s a hanging offense. Remember, when baggies are outlawed, only outlaws will have baggies.

Note the intended targets:

“Lt. Kevin Navarro, commanding officer of the Chicago Police Department's Narcotics and Gang Unit, said the ordinance will be an ‘important tool’ to go after grocery stores, health food stores and other businesses. The bags are used by the thousand to sell small quantities of drugs at $10 or $20 a bag.”

Yup, it’s the grocers and health food stores that are pushing drugs on our cities. Drug dealers? Pah. Let's get the old couple running the ethnic food market.

Now, this is so incredibly stupid it takes one’s breath away. The only crystal clear conclusion to be drawn is that Lt. Navarro is on crack ‘s elevator doesn’t go to the top floor if he thinks that this is going to make a difference.

After all, if they caught someone either selling or in possession of illegal drugs – regardless of container, they would prosecute for the drug crime, no? But now, if it’s stored in a baggie, it’s an extra fine!

My next multi level marketing gig is going to be Tupperware Parties for Gang Bangers. Or perhaps I’ll corner the head shop market for plastic wrap. Or wax paper. Or baggies larger than the 2” specified in this stupid ordinance.

I could probably make some pretty good simoleans buying sandwich bags in bulk at the local warehouse club, and running them to Chicago.